Wow! What a wild ride over the last six months! So much has changed since the last time my life changed. These past couple of months have been filled with so much celebration of life and success! However, for the last month or two, I have felt myself plateau into contentment and not wanting, or maybe not seeing where to push myself!
I knew I was at the precipice of an ego transition.
Definition of an ego transition for ME is, recognizing dated behaviors and patterns carried over from the previous life stage. For me, that was the beginning of early adulthood, college, and some older patterns from childhood that needed to be addressed. It is also hallmarked by the need for validation from others to say what you are doing is valuable and worthy.
Here in this space, I feel the uncomfortable pull from my soul, craving more and wanting to go deeper into the Self and higher in vibration.
I found myself distant from my spiritual practice that I know saved my life and transformed me into the wombman I am called to be for a time such as now!
Definition of ego According to the American Psychology Association
1. the self, particularly the conscious sense of self (Latin, “I”). In its popular and quasi-technical sense, ego refers to all the psychological phenomena and processes that are related to the self and that comprise the individual’s attitudes, values, and concerns.
2. in psychoanalytic theory, the component of the personality that deals with the external world and its practical demands. More specifically, the ego enables the individual to perceive, reason, solve problems, test reality, and adjust the instinctual impulses of the id to the demands of the superego.
Our ego is who we think we are, the Self, that inner voice and authority in which we live and interact with the world!
However, at times our ego can cloud our perception of the world and people around us. There comes a point in which we have to address what is disabling us from relating to this world in the way we are supposed to.
I find myself, getting stuck between knowing what changes are needed to be made, but being unable to complete it. Due to the value, I had put into the last version of myself. This stalemate stems from the precious moments, victories, and lessons that we learned and conquered with that version of ourselves! However, those behaviors are obsolete to the progression of the Self that I am trying to reach! Being more like water is something I am trying to learn, that adaptation and flow allow us to grow!
Thinking about it, it is the rigidity that I cling to most! It makes me feel like no matter what, this worked before, so it can keep working… we all know that with age must come growth and cultivating the person you want to be! Unfortunately, unlike what I thought, growth doesn’t just happen. You work towards it every day, every hour, minute, and second of our being! That is the true EVOLUTION!
Once initiated, it has the power to start a REVOLUTION!
Below is a poem I wrote on this topic. Please share how you feel about your personal evolution and tips you have for others in the comments below! Sending you love and support always!
The Black Beatnik
“The Transition of Self”
There comes a time when we find ourselves at a crossroads
The intersection of adulthood, diverging from childhood holds.
Rejection of this moment and not paying it its proper due,
will leave you subdued in a powerless stoop.
It is the cultivation of the Self that helps us through this unhinging moment.
Ever striving to reach Self-actualization, once cultivated, makes up for all the grueling time spent.
The clarity, peace, and ease found,
makes the most frantic of days sound.
It is a clarity given from the Divine,
an internal knowing from the never exhausting spiritual mine.
A peace so deep,
that nothing or no one can shake you from its foundational keep.
The ease of the Goddess, floating like the web of baby spiders in the breeze,
trusting and knowing that no matter where they land they can continue life as they please.
All as natural and available to us,
if we choose to seek the ever-evolving version of ourselves and trust.